Some time ago, my husband and I celebrated another anniversary of our marriage. We were pleasantly surprised by the unexpected number of positive phone calls we received, many from people we haven’t spoken to for years. A few people even visited us unannounced for the occasion. This was a source of great joy for us, albeit not because of the usual wishes and greetings. However, this reminder of our life together for the past several years gave us much joy and positive emotions. The time had also come for some reflection…
The topic of celebrating the sacrament of marriage was something I encountered often through listening to various homilies. The priests would often remind that this sacrament was more than just a civil agreement initiated by a government official. Nevertheless, the message of what to do in order to celebrate or benefit from the sacrament of marriage was often unclear. We still try to learn more about these gifts, listening closely. It has to be said, however, that in church, few sermons are given on this topic. Given the importance and scope of the topic, discourse about marriage should be more widespread in parishes, during regular masses, not just on retreats for brothers contemplating monastic life. We need more priests, properly prepared in theology, to explain to the people what exactly the sacrament of marriage is. It is especially important to understand these things before marriage for better preparation, and in order to discover and deepen the marital bond between spouses. Today people seem too busy and overworked to make time to really discover the supernatural union between spouses. But the reality is that marriage, before God, is the gate to a supernatural reality; it is one of the many gates to sainthood. Helping each other during hard times, picking ourselves up after we fall, working together, are only possible through cooperation, the end goal being heaven. Our actions do not need to be spectacular or amazing, the act of living an everyday life with a mutual goal is of greater importance; cooking, cleaning, professional work, raising children, but also rest and spending time together. These everyday acts, seemingly devoid of spirituality, become acts of love and kindness when those intentions are attributed to them.
Recently, a book written by to Jerzy Ciesielski by the name of “An Instance of Providence” found its way into my hands. Even though I read this book earlier, it was as if I rediscovered the meaning of the words, in which notes were written by a person whose social roles were very contemporary: a husband, father of three, scientist, and above all a Christian, who saw his path to sainthood in marriage.
When he thought of his calling to marriage, he jotted down a note saying, “If marriage is to accomplish its goal, choosing a spouse is of great importance. This is a matter between the two people and God. The ability to make the right decision and accept responsibility is crucial. It is the joy of accomplishing things together, fear of unnecessary misunderstandings, putting your trust into the good will of a person, looking forward to God’s mercy, recognizing our faults and weaknesses. It is the choice of what kind of life you want to live and all the unknowns that come with it, experiencing the joy of perfection and the tragedy of shortcomings, recognizing our spiritual, mental, and physical attributes, sculpting our character, and adapting to hardships. This new life, rich in spiritual values, should be joyfully paired with fulfilling the will of God; a life that might cause sadness, pain, and the need to surrender to the will of God. Are we striving for perfection, or giving it lip service? What criteria do we use to make these decisions? These are matters that should be reflected upon when establishing the goals of marriage.”
The road to sainthood is traveled upon through everyday life. We must find joy in the dull parts of our life and discover the “bits of heaven” hidden around us. And lastly, we must always keep looking forward together…
Agnieszka Konik-Korn
