Fr Thomas Koys, M.A.,S.T.L.
A common expression by people who say they don’t agree with “everything” the Church says goes something like this: “The church doesn’t belong in the bedroom.” But the bedroom is one of the most wonderful places that men who love women spend their time. So let’s talk turkey here. What this saying is saying, is: “The church is ok when it’s raising money for the poor or when it’s building community amidst diverse peoples or even when it is providing beautiful music to touch our hearts. But the church need not teach, preach or make reference to anything that has to do with this most intimate and blessed part of life.” It’s a very tempting conclusion to make because that time for kisses and hugs is all about being time for just the “two of us”. Having the Pope or an invisible God in the bedroom brings new meaning to the saying: “Three’s a crowd”.
A great many people have no idea what Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body” is. But there are more and more people who are getting hooked on these biblical meditations. If you are positive that religion and hence God, should have nothing to say about the details or the generalities of that part of our lives we usually refer to as “romance”, then nothing I can say will get you to study the Theology of the Body. But, if you see romance in life is intimately connected to the concept of love AND if your concept of God has anything to do with true love, I believe you will join that growing crowd of believers who can’t get enough of “T o B”. What follows is a series of short reflections about romance, about God and yes about morality. The genius of the Theology of the Body is that it ties these three things together in a way that makes sense to young and old, to Catholics and non-Catholics alike.
Now, be honest. The idea of a Pope talking about romance is not the first thing you think about when you realize it’s time to go to church. Right? But when you think about it, if religion is about love and people’s romantic relationships is where they learn about love on a new level, then isn’t it logical that your religion should be able to make the romance of your life a lot better? This is a major theme of “T o B” because Pope John Paul II realized that male female intimacy was from the beginning of time, from the get go, long before any psychologist or song writer spoke a word, God’s first great invention. In fact, you can say it was God’s master idea. There’s a reason the bible begins with the story of Adam and Eve because this first marriage tells us that marriage as such is fundamental in understanding the meaning of life.
Saying this might surprise some people. They might be surprised, not because they haven’t said this to themselves before, but because they haven’t heard a priest, let alone a pope talk this way before. In fact, coming to realize the beauty of the marital bond doesn’t take a great philosopher or theologian. In fact, it only takes a kiss or even a wink. This is why nobody seems to be upset at the Church when the Church becomes an integral part of what those two people call their Wedding day. It’s a no brainer, it’s obvious; the Church needs to be involved in the most romantic day of young lover’s lives. The beautiful dress, family all around and the rushing off to a romantic place for just the two of you…. Of course, God is in the air. God is a part of this romance.
But then why has it become so fashionable to say that God has no place in the bedroom? What happens between the bliss of young love and today’s constant criticism and dissent against Catholic teachings? I’ll tell you what happens, or should I say, I’ll tell you what Pope John Paul II has said happens. First, we ourselves fail to live up to our own vows, our own idealism. The “till death do we part” turns into “until we can’t stand each other anymore.” And what’s more, the spirit of God who we felt to be so present at our Wedding days, turned out to be a false god or the true God, only partially appreciated, only immaturely understood. Getting to know God in the fullness of His divinity forces upon us a number of do’s and don’ts, in other words moral principles. Getting to know God, especially in His Trinitarian nature, in His roll as master designer AND finally in His roll as “incarnate redeemer” of His fallen children turns the universal experience of youthful romance into one of the human race’s most serious endeavors to make the world a better place.
Before you throw this introductory offer to the side and abandon all thoughts of reading more I ask you one question. If the world is full of hatred and wars, and love is such a wonderful and yet deadly force in people’s lives, doesn’t it make sense that the problems that we need to fix regarding love must be very subtle, and must be flying below the radar screen undetected by the general public? If the problems of love were so obvious wouldn’t most people be able to correct them and thereby increase the love in the world? Ok, that was two questions. But they are intimately linked. The fact that so many people reject the Catholic teachings on marriage today is not a reason to consider the Church wrong. Rather, it makes all the sense in the world that the Church is right and the masses are wrong. Why? Because love between spouses, love within families and even love between nations is so easily spoiled. And can I add, just because your love life maybe just fine, that doesn’t mean your love is apart of God’s love. Just as a single teenager can be selfish, so a couple can be selfish.
If you have read this whole sheet, God love you. That means you’re interested in love and what the Catholic faith has to say about it. Now, pray to God to help you read the next one, and the next and the next….
