Have you ever thought about whether it was at all awkward for St. Matthias to take the place of the villain? Let me rewind a bit and lay out the scene.
Jesus had chosen twelve men. Twelve people were hand-picked to be His closest friends, to become His followers and to keep His teachings alive and pass them down to others. But one of them betrays Him, decides to turn his Master in for 30 pieces of silver. Judas was this man who ruined it all, in human eyes. Then he tragically dies. There are eleven men left. In the meantime, all of humanity is saved by Jesus Christ’s Death and Resurrection. Then begins the Easter story where Jesus appears to some of His followers; some believe, some don’t. Eventually He appears to them all and after 40 days He ascends to His Father but leaves the promise of the coming of His Holy Spirit, the Advocate.
It was right in between these events, the Ascension and the coming of His Holy Spirit, or Pentecost, that St. Peter, the head of this small community at the time, decided to fill the empty place at the table. “Therefore, it is necessary that one of the men who accompanied us the whole time the Lord Jesus came and went among us, beginning from the baptism of John until the day on which He was taken up from us, become with us a witness to His resurrection.” (Acts 1:21-22)
The election of this new apostle came down to two candidates: “Joseph called Barsabbas, who was also known as Justus, and Matthias.” (Acts 1:23) Isn’t it ironic that the author of the Acts of the Apostles elaborates so much about the first candidate and his name, and only mentions Matthias? It makes one think that Joseph could have been the one everyone thought was a better fit. Thankfully, they didn’t rely on their own opinions. They left it up to God. They prayed and “they gave lots to them, and the lot fell upon Matthias” (Acts 1:26) One could almost imagine a sigh going across the room if it wasn’t who they expected. “And he was counted with the eleven apostles.” (Acts 1:26)
And so there ends any biblical mentions of St. Matthias. But this was just the beginning for him. He was now a part of the Apostles, the first witnesses of Jesus’ Death and Resurrection. But it’s not like he was born a saint and had no normal human feelings or thoughts. Of course, it is not known what he thought or said, or what he went through. But putting oneself in his shoes may make one think it wasn’t that easy with just the fact to be named Judas’ successor. Knowing that he has been blessed with the gift of being named an apostle, but not being hand-picked physically by Christ like all the rest of them may have been a challenge for his heart to overcome. Doubts of being good enough, or thoughts like, “If God wanted me to be an apostle, why didn’t Jesus just pick me in the first place instead of that Judas?” could have been coming across his mind, no one knows for sure. If he did have such sabotaging thoughts, then he must have put them to rest in God and ultimately trusted in God’s Plan and in His Mercy.
May St. Matthias intercede for us to become true followers of Christ, even if we do have our faults, depressing thoughts, or anything else. May the Lord cleanse our hearts and minds so that we may one day attain sainthood, just like St. Matthias. Amen!
Marta Sniezko
